Quarantine Day 4: SO Close

Well, I was SO close to being able to write a boring post about something insignificant. We all had a long day today (both girls were “off” and the level of noncompliance and attitude was higher than normal), but the sun was shining, it was warm, and we played in the woods. Not too shabby.

But then the girls came down from their bath, right before bedtime and for lack of a better word, just broke.

Steven and I had no idea what was going on, but all of the sudden we each had a child on our lap with nuzzeld noses in our chests and more tears and snot than we could have anticipated. We made eye contact with one another and, in the way that spouses do, nonverbally communicated that neither of us saw this one coming and neither of us knew what to do.

So we did what we could and proceeded to hold each of them, rock them, kiss them, and tell them that we love them. Then Steven prayed for them and over them, for us, and for peace all around.

As the sniffles stiffled, I was asked the girls to tell me with words why they were upset.

“I had fun today. And I liked it. It was a good day. But now I remember about my 'other family' and I am sad”, Amelia said. “And I am sorry that I tell you these things because it can make you sad.”

I affirmed her for her ability to verbalize her feelings and for her trust in me to share them.

I told her that it's okay to be sad, and it's even healthy to let her self feel that But that it’s also okay to be happy and allow herself to enjoy the ttimes that were having now. We talked about feeling many feelings at once and how that's normal, and it's good to be able to talk about them.

Then she told me that her friend from the neighborhood is moving in the fall and she is sad about that as well.

So we proceeded to talk about how people in our lives can come and go and that we can celebrate them for the time and season that they were in our lives. But family is forever and they don't leave you.

Then came the dagger.

I should have seen it coming.

“My family left me.”

Yep, I should have seen it coming.

“Yes, they did. And I am sorry. So very sorry. But you know what? Some families don't operate like they're supposed to. Sometimes people don't do the right thing. And that's not fair. And it hurts. And I am so sorry for that. But I promise, this one is here to stay. We will not leave you, ever. And you never have to apologize to me for telling me your feelings. I am proud of you for that and happy that you were able to tell me. And you know what? There is nothing that you could ever say or do that would make me stop loving you.”

We hugged, we kissed, we pinky promised.

Then after looking at the time (way past bedtime), she said, “Mom, I can't sleep”.

So we all layed down as a family, on the couch, and learned how to breathe slowly and deeply, let go, and relax. (Thank you “Calm” app for your guided meditation for kids and for releasing it for free during this time!)

Then smiles, more kisses, and goodnights.

We haven't heard a peep since.

For the record, we still have no idea why Rowan was crying. She never answered, but followed suit as Amelia calmed down.

Day four.